Archiving the blog instead

I don’t mean to drag this out, but I’ve received such strong reactions from people that I feel I must say a few things before I shut down.

I’ve read every comment and prayed for each person as I read your words. I have been crying and crying. It feels like I am moving away from good friends. But on the bright side, there are many blogs here where we can still share with each other. I am not really going away, and I will always be your friend. I am planning to be an active participant in several blogs and websites.

I may even start a devotional blog. I would enjoy that very much… just thinking about it right now. In years past, I have been close to God, then I turned my back on Him, and now have returned. My experience — or should I say my stupidity — may help others.

As Cathmae said, I did not make this decision lightly. I believe Daniel understands that this is a sacrifice on my part and he is grateful.

Robin’s comments, spoken from experience, make a lot of sense. So rather than delete this site, I am going to make it private as a way of archiving it. I will not be inviting people in — it will just be there as a testimony for myself of my journey thus far.

Again, thank you for spending time here with me. It has made my journey so much easier to live through. I have come a long way from the woman who was so traumatized that she couldn’t function, and much of that is because of you — my friends here in our little community.

I will hit the “make private” button tonight.

Love & prayers,


13 thoughts on “Archiving the blog instead

  1. SHAPE says:

    Dj, Please let us know if you start a devotional blog. It would be wonderful to share in that with you. Wishing you only the best and still am looking forward to any comments you make on other sites and especially to the possibility of a devotional blog.

  2. cathmae says:

    Sending love and hope for your happiness and healing. XO

  3. wallybear12 says:

    DJ, you are in my prayers tonight…

  4. kali4ever says:

    Wishing all good things for you and Daniel. Just wanted to let you know that you really touched me and helped me heal. You articulated feelings that I didn’t know could be put into words. Bless you!

  5. Foolish Woman says:

    Just want to add my good wishes to you and your family.
    Dealing with the infidelity fallout is a journey. We all pass though different stages/places on that journey but eventually we have to get to a destination. For some of us, that will be a repaired marriage – for others it will be a complete new place to live. Wherever we end up, we’ll survive and will have learned something along the way.
    The people we meet along the way are fellow travellers. We can help each other over the rougher bits but it’s not necessary – or perhaps healthy – for us to be stuck together ad infinitum as that has the potential to stop us being able to finish the journey.
    So I understand why you need to do this – to allow yourself and Daniel to finish the journey and carry on with your lives.
    It’s been a privilege to have met you along the way. You’ve helped a lot of fellow travellers and can be proud of that.
    Wishing you health, healing and happiness.

    • Very wise words for a “foolish woman”, ha ha. You are so very right. At some point, we have to reach the destination. We have to heal in whatever form that takes. We have to let go of the title of “betrayed spouse” and release our spouse from the title of “cheating spouse”. I am approaching that right now, and it is scary. Emotional. Being so connected on the blogs has been a lifeline in a horrible time, but it can also turn into a security blanket, where we keep revisiting the pain and loss. At the same time, it is hard to think of “losing” these friends who have touched the deepest parts of our heart, and walked us through the fieriest pit. Blessings to everyone here. I wish you all peace and healing.

  6. HUGS
    We will miss you–even though you really are still with us.

  7. betrayalsurvivor1981 says:

    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let us know WHEN you start a devotional blog! (I’m speaking in faith by saying “when” instead of “if”!)

  8. betrayalsurvivor1981 says:

    Could you PLEASE leave this blog up at least until Monday night (4/15/13 US Central Time), so that I can print out your entire blog at the office on Monday? I surely hope you can keep your blog up at least until then.

  9. Teresa says:

    Looking forward to the devotional blog, DJ…you’re a natural at pulling people together, where we all feel like friends!! ((Hugs))

  10. I too used to have a very close relationship with God. Ironically it was the closest ever during the time of the affair. After discovery, something in me shut down. I think I was angry that I did everything “right”, and it still ended in disaster. Now I am ready to put God back in his rightful place in my life, my mind and my heart. He is where my true healing will come from. I was just discussing this very topic this morning with my husband. I told him we need to pray together again and re-center our marriage around our faith. If you do a devotional blog, please keep me posted. I would love to participate in that! I am also thinking about finding an online couples’ bible study for us both to do. Blessings friend!

  11. aaroncrj says:

    My dear friend, DJ:

    I think you know how much you have meant to me and my ability to move forward. I am sorry to see this transition but I understand it completely. You are a special soul, my friend, and I am a better person because of you.

    Your friend and your fan,


    • Not Over It says:

      Hi Aaron,

      You are so kind, my dear Aaron. We have helped each other through a difficult time, and I know I wouldn’t be strong enough to do this if you had not reached out by commenting here… a year and a half ago. Gee, it feels like we have been friends for a long time.

      You have been such an inspiration to me. When I have been stuck, you have shown me how to keep moving forward. When I have been weak, you have shown me the strength it takes to stand up again. I will always be grateful.

      I will always be your friend.

      Love & prayers,

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