I was angry with God for a long time. Before Dday I was so sure that God was helping my husband through his “depression.” I was so thankful and said many, many prayers of thanks and praise for it. Finding out what really happened made that all seem so ridiculous. How could I have been so stupid? I had been so sure that God wanted me in this marriage. I felt that He had let me down. I turned away from Him.
God did not give up on me even though I had given up on Him. He made sure I had everything I needed to get through the shock and pain. The most important was my coach. Talk about the perfect match in counseling… and yet so unlikely from the outside. My coach is a 30-something Southern gentleman who lives in Tennessee – I call him that because he is a gentleman in the truest sense of the word. I am a 50-something Asian who lives near the ocean. God sent me all the way to Tennessee (online, of course) to find just the right person. He comes from a background so different from mine and yet so much the same. He understands me in a way that few people can. I’ll bet most of his clients say the same thing… he has a way of looking beyond the superficial to the way an individual’s mind works. After he figures this out, he has a gift for being able to be there with the person in their pain and to help them find their way.
He let me vent and fume or rant and cry when I needed to. He “sat” with me through all of that. He knew when to push me toward rediscovery of myself and renewal of my strengths. He knew how to put a different spin on things so that I would see things from a different perspective. He is an amazing therapist. I am so grateful to God for helping me to find him.