Get Back Up

My mind has been swirling for the past few days… so many contradictory thoughts, so many emotions crashing into one another… the Serenity Prayer has been a help as I’ve reflected on it and read it aloud a few times each day.  Then today I played an old Christian playlist of mine and came across the song “Get Back Up” by Toby Mac.  The chorus will be my anthem this weekend as I try to work through the recent hurts with my husband.  I’ll tell you about it next week.

It may not be your music style, but the chorus is well worth reading.  I’ve included the YouTube link if you want to hear it.

We lose our way, we get back up again

It’s never too late to get back up again

And one day you gonna’ shine again

You may be knocked down, but not out forever

We lose our way, we get back up again

So get up, get up, you gonna’ shine again

It’s never too late to get back up again

You may be knocked down, but not out forever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MX5OqyBYKh4

I am getting back up… again.  Each time I fall, I don’t fall as far down as the time before.  Each time I get up, I stand taller and stronger.  Maybe soon I will truly feel like the nickname I have at the fitness center:  Wonder Woman in Yoga Pants!

(I got that nickname because I used to work off my emotional struggle with my workouts and I was like a woman obsessed.  Lol.  I’m not quite so intense about it now.  It’s just fun again.)

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9 thoughts on “Get Back Up

  1. cathmae says:

    DJ a friend of mine sent me a Wonder Woman coffee mug this summer to celebrate and remind me of my courage, having made some tough choices, living through painful losses, while putting one foot in front of the other every day. I love that mug!! When I look at it, it makes me feel like I’m made of steel!
    You sound like a very courageous woman yourself, so I don’t mind sharing the handle!:)

    • Not Over It says:

      Well, my fellow Wonder Woman – that’s WONDERful! I don’t mind sharing, either. Do you wear yoga pants, too? Lol.

      We will persevere until we are flying up, up, and away… oh wait, that’s the wrong superhero… what does Wonder Woman say?

      Hope life is being kind to you right now…

      Love & prayers,
      DJ

  2. hiddinsight says:

    Hey, I like that song 🙂 Sounds like it was good timing.

    • Not Over It says:

      Hi Hiddinsight – Yes, it hit me like a brick when the song came on. I hadn’t listened to it for a long time, and I really needed something like that to give me a boost. God always knows…

      Hope your weekend is off to a good start.

      Love & prayers,
      DJ

  3. SHAPE says:

    As usual, DJ, your posts are so helpful! I am having a setback due to my husband responding to a “Happy Birthday” email Aug 31 from his AP, sent to his work email. He had promised me so many times since D-Day of Dec 2010 that he would let me know if she ever emailed him, and of course, he didn’t let me know. I found out because he sent one to her but mis-typed the email address and it came back to an email account that I occasionally would look at (he had given me the password). He had told her they couldn’t keep in touch, but this was after they had called each other honey, and she had said how much she missed him. I also saw the email where she agreed that they could not stay in touch and told him goodbye and to have a good life. I suppose it is over now, but I am so hurt, yet again. I feel like I am starting all over.
    But like you say. I have been struck down but not as far as before, only because I have grown stronger. Does this nasty business never end?
    He has made some amends – told his adult children (we both have children from our first marriages–which did not dissolve because of any affairs).
    I have triggers and setbacks yet again; was just beginning to trust and then this.
    I have tried emailing her, but she does not answer me. I am tempted to use my husband’s email so she would think it is from him, but am afraid that will backfire. I also tried emailing her husband, but his email has been discontinued. I’m sure she made sure of that, as I had warned her that if she ever contacted my husband again, I would let her husband know all about it. So I feel frustrated at every turn. I probably shouldn’t be so revengeful–and I hope this feeling will go away, but I feel like she has gotten off without any pain, and I have had so much. \
    My husband also lost his job one week after I discovered these latest September emails. In hind site I wish he would have lost it 1 month earlier, as then her email to him would not have gone through. Such luck!
    Sorry for the long post. I have had a few good talks with my husband, and he has agreed we will have these talks at least once a week. Next week I want to bring up the subject of “reparation for damage done.” I feel he needs to know pretty specifically what I need from him.
    Thanks for reading and listening. I always get something good out of your posts! You have a gift for saying things in a meaningful way.

    • Not Over It says:

      Oh my gosh, SHAPE – not you, too. I’m so sorry you are also reliving this pain. For me, it wasn’t found emails. I found a picture of them together. It wasn’t recent, but he had hidden it from me when we were deleting and getting rid of all the mementos of their affair. I will be posting the details next week.

      How I wish I could reach out and give you a great big hug. I’m sending out hugging vibes into the sky right now for you… 🙂

      Revenge does not usually work out very well from what I hear, but it sure is tempting sometimes. In your case, since she initiated contact again, I would be like you and really want him to know. Not for revenge, but I would want to know if I were him. The OW’s husband in my case found out twice before I did. I wish he had called and told me back then. It would have changed some of the life-altering decisions I made before I knew.

      I’m sorry, too, about your husband’s job. Radio is a cut-throat business. I hope things are going to be ok for you financially as well as emotionally. Please keep me posted.

      Thank you for your kind words. I’m glad you find positive things here. I also learn much from you, and I’m glad to hear from you again. I was just thinking about you today, as a matter of fact, and wondering how you were.

      Take care, my friend. You are in my thoughts and especially in my prayers right now.

      DJ

      • SHAPE says:

        Hi DJ–
        First, I do want to let you know regarding my husband’s job loss, financially we are okay. He has applied at several places (non-radio work), but I am sure something will turn up. There is also a possibility of a radio job in another city about 2-3 hours drive from here. Would mean a move, but it is a nice place, should that work out.

        Emotionally, I am much better since writing you. If something good came of this, it is the fact that he knows and agrees that I have the right to bring up at any time any questions I have without him getting “tired of my questions.” And, also, once a week (usually Friday evenings) he and I can talk in depth about anything, affair, honesty issues, things I’ve read (or he’s read), etc.

        I had a terrible night Friday night – waking up in the middle of the night and unable to get back to sleep – which has not been unusual for the past 2 years! But at that point, when I did crawl back into bed, he knew I had been awake and we probably talked for another hour; I had some angry moments, but mostly it went okay.
        He finally admitted what he did was wrong and what could he do to make it better. I have a whole list, but at that moment I only said.”for starters he needed to email his 3 kids and come clean about what he had done since he had visited them in the past 2 years and used their computers to keep up his email with his AP.” I also required that he come clean to my daughter (she’s 35), as she knew a little bit and my sister, who knew a lot. His kids have all been supportive of him, and of me, especially his one son, who says I have been a God-sent blessing to their family. My daughter gave him some good advice (she’s a counselor) on how to win back my trust, and I’m sure my sister will also weigh in with some helpful suggestions. Both my daughter and sister really love/like him a lot, so even though it hurts them that he hurt me, I know they will not respond in an unkind way.
        And in my case, it is better that this is in the open for these people. It helps then that I don’t have to put up a “we are such a ‘perfect’ couple” face when we do get together – which isn’t often, as none of them live close to us.

        Revenge–yes, I know it doesn’t usually help–it just feels like something i want. But I know if I am supposed to be able to tell her husband, something will open up so I can. I do have a couple of things to try to find out his email, and I will pursue that. But I am not going to do this out of revenge – just for his information like you say.

        Thanks for your prayers and support. You have mine, too.
        SHAPE
        The one great thing that has happened is my little grandson who will be a year in December. He’s a love – just wish I lived closer to him.

  4. Not Over It says:

    Hi SHAPE – that really sounds like a lot of progress! I am smiling as I write this, filled with much joy that you are connecting with your husband in really meaningful ways. I have made a few inroads myself, though not quite as amazing as yours. I will post about it this week.

    Aren’t grandchildren just the best thing ever? The old sayings are all true. I just have a ball watching my granddaughter grow. She is so intuitive that she seems to be an “old soul” and at a 20 months is already trying to take care of people. So cute…

    Right now my husband’s mom is in the hospital and our focus is on others…

    I’ll be in touch again soon.

    So glad to hear your news! Still, you are always in my thoughts and prayers…
    DJ

  5. Get Back Up is such a good reminder for all of us, whatever challenges we may be facing. Sometimes I call it Starting Over. It just seems like sometimes life presents us with problems that really knock us down and then we just have to get up and start over. Don’t stay down!

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