Sound like something out of a horror movie? He’s back? Well, it feels kind of like a horror movie to me.
We have a downstairs apartment in our house. It is large and comfortable and my daughter and her family rent it from us. Unless we make an effort to see each other, we could actually go for long periods without running into each other at all. Yesterday, my daughter’s husband Jay called and asked if he could come and see his daughter. My daughter, Lee, was calm and said ok. He arranged to come at a time when he knew my husband and I would both be at exercise class so he wouldn’t run into us. He must have been pretty uncomfortable since it was not likely that we would run into each other anyway.
He came over and he talked about how unhappy he was. He said he felt Lee didn’t care about him at all. He said that they had tried counseling and it didn’t work, so he thought it was over. But he says he’s not ready to call it quits. He doesn’t want to lose his daughter. He doesn’t want to lose his family. So Lee agreed to give it another try. He said, however, that he would need to be able to go out whenever he wanted to and not feel hemmed in by her. She said they needed to go back to counseling. He said he would think about it.
It sounds like a crock of shit to me. Pardon my language but I am upset. She should not have agreed to this. It sounds just like all the cheating spouses I’ve read about. And where was he for the past several days? He says he slept in his car. Likely story.
Counseling didn’t work? He never gave it much of a chance. After 3 sessions he refused to go back. Lee really liked her and went back for individual sessions. He threw a fit. He didn’t want anyone knowing about their problems and he didn’t want Lee talking to someone about him when he wasn’t there. But no, he wouldn’t go back.
She believes his story. She’s letting him back in. I don’t buy it. The red flags are all up and blowing in my face. My husband says I should shut up and stay out of it. I haven’t told her my feelings about it. Daniel and I were together when she came to tell us that he was back. She told us what he said. I told her we would always be here for her, no matter what happened. Daniel stopped me from saying anymore. He said to let them figure it out on their own. He says no one could have talked him out of his decisions back then…
I will find the time to tell her my misgivings alone. Will that really accomplish anything? I am struggling with this decision.
I would like to go downstairs and move the baby and Lee upstairs with us, and throw his sorry ass out. But that would make me an overbearing mother. It’s just killing me inside.
I have to admit that my judgment may be clouded. It’s just so damned hard to stand by and watch my daughter go down this road. Maybe it’s time to turn into the FBI again. I did it when I was suspicious of Daniel’s relationship with his old girlfriend. I did it after D-day when I wanted to know all the details. Maybe it’s time again… or should I wait until the red flags go off in Lee’s head? Would I have wanted my mother to step in this way? I would probably have brushed her off and told her that I would probably sense it if Daniel was being unfaithful. And look how dumb I would have been…