Taking the low road

You know, most of the time I try to take the high road and just dismiss thoughts of Daniel’s OW, but once in a while I fall from those lofty high ideals and end up on a low road somewhere…  like when I saw this cartoon and instantly thought of the Old Woman, as my coach likes to call her.

Thank you to fellow blogger at rescuingmymarriage.wordpress.com for posting a bunch of these that made me laugh.

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10 thoughts on “Taking the low road

  1. SHAPE says:

    Thanks for sharing! I have been having lots of thoughts about the OW lately, and especially in wanting to tell her husband what REALLY went on when he thought my husband and he and his wife were just good friends and asked my husband to mow their lawn while he was out of town for 6 weeks! Guess the grass was really greener at her house! I still don’t believe he knows anything. They live across the U.S. from us now, and I don’t know if I want to open that can of worms; but sometimes I am really tempted. I dislike her intensely! I know my husband played his own role in their affair, but I have now learned that she started it with an email to him wishing him happy birthday to his work email. He is required to respond to his radio listeners, but of course, he also chose to respond several times to her continued gushiness about how wonderful he sounded on the air. Gag me, is all I can say.

    I’d love for her husband to know the truth about the whole thing, I guess. Anyway, I enjoyed the joke!

  2. Not Over It says:

    Glad you enjoyed it, SHAPE –

    I sometimes think that I should tell her husband, too. He had two D-days of his own, the first one at the two-year mark of their affair, and the second one at four years. He never knew the extent of it. He accepted her lies about the whole thing. And he thought it ended two years before it actually did. My husband convinced me that he might be dangerous if he found out and my husband said we wouldn’t want to be the cause of violence or death in their marriage. I bought it at the time. I now think he was just trying to save his own neck because it would probably have blown up and everyone would have found out. So I sometimes think about lighting the fuse and telling her husband. At this point, though, I think it’s best to just let that part of it go. It will only serve to drag us back into the pit of the affair again.

    In your case, her husband knows nothing. It’s sad for him to never know. I would want to know, no matter how much it hurt. But it would drag you and your husband back into that pit again, too, and maybe bring up feelings that were better left buried. Tough decision…

    Hope all is well with you…

    Love & prayers,
    DJ

    • SHAPE says:

      Not Over It
      You are right about dragging us into that pit again. In thinking about it, I think my motive is more one of revenge – I want her to suffer pain like I have – more than I want him to know. It has also been pointed out to me that in God’s good timing, He can work it so so that her husband finds out, or she will do this with someone else (or maybe he will have an affair on her!). For right now I am going to hold off. I’m away from home visiting my daughter and grandson again. Get back home Tuesday. May decide to broach this subject with my husband and see what he thinks the reaction would be. Not sure yet about that either.

      And Amy–
      What you say about hindsight – oh yes. There are so many “red flags” I would have pursued with a vengence if only I had not believed all my husband’s lies. Sometimes I still beat myself up over that, but it gets less and less. I know I trusted because I thought I could. But when things didn’t really make sense, I feel I should have pushed him more. But he would react with anger, which made me back off because he made me think I was a terrible wife for doubting him! If only, if only, I would have trusted my own intuition. But like you say – we can’t go back. But I have learned to listen to my gut feelings now. They aren’t always right; but I question instead of passively letting it go.

      • DJ says:

        Oh boy – thoughts of revenge have seeped into my being many times. I have sat and daydreamed about the things I could do to her – the mess I could make of her life. It is a real temptation alright. That’s when I think about LFBA and what his online name is: Looking for Buddha Again. And I say to myself, “Think zen.” Sometimes it works, and sometimes I just think even more about the evil things I could do. Bwa ha ha ha!

        None of us were prepared with a checklist on what to do if our spouses cheated. We never thought they would ever stoop so low and betray everything we had together. So sad…

        But it’s a beautiful day outside today! I’m going out for a walk. Have a good evening…

        DJ

  3. Amy says:

    Don’t you hate hindsight? Sometimes I wish I had done things differently. But we can’t. Good thing you are looking at things with humor. 🙂 Love and prayers to you!

    • DJ says:

      Hey Amy – Lord yes, in hindsight there are many things I would have done differently. Like I would have insisted that he move out for a while at the very beginning so that we could think about what it would mean for us to divorce. As it is, he’s already taking me for granted again. He has learned little, if anything, in my opinion. He pushes hard for us to just not deal with it anymore because he is sure I will not leave, no matter what he does. Well, he’s in for a big surprise if he continues in his controlling, emotionally unhealthy ways.

      But yes, I am so glad to be able to enjoy humor again, and to be able to laugh at infidelity jokes is great. My children did not find that cartoon funny. My oldest looked at me and said, “Mom, I don’t know how to respond. It scares me.” Poor things haven’t been able to laugh about it yet.

      Hope you had a good weekend…

      Sending love & prayers right back at ya,
      DJ

      • Amy says:

        I don’t know if the kids will be able to laugh. But they didn’t experience it like you did. You’re healing. Laughter is the best medicine when you can do it. Some people can’t do that. Good for you!

      • Not Over It says:

        I really appreciate the encouragement, Amy. Thank you!
        -DJ

  4. HA!! I was just talking about what I would like to do to the other guy. Good stuff maynard!!!!

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