“There is a big difference between being sorry and being changed.
To be sorry means to feel bad. It’s a temporary little prick of the heart.
But change only comes when we’re repentant. Being repentant is a deeper conviction to actually correct and transform our behavior—our habit—our wrong tendency.”
These lines were part of a devotional called “I Quit” from Proverbs 31 Ministries. The piece had nothing to do with affairs or forgiveness, but these lines within the article jumped out at me. I believe this is the reason that many betrayed spouses have difficulty moving on and letting the past go. Either the cheating spouse is not sorry or is sorry but not truly repentant. In either case, the betrayed spouse takes a serious risk by letting go.
Truly repentant cheating spouses will make the time and do the work to affect real change in their lives and in their attitudes. The effort resonates in the marriage and the betrayed spouse can reach out in the hope of being safe and secure in the love of their spouse. A new foundation is poured and the new marriage takes shape. The wounded hearts of the betrayed spouses are cared for and healed.
This has been my hope for almost 19 months. But is my husband repentant? It seems like it depends on the day and direction of the wind. And that means that the answer is no. I know he is sorry, but…