I have been mulling over this business about dealing with significant days in our partner’s affair. As I wrote the other day, D-day for me has ceased to be a trigger because I was able to turn it around in my head. I think of it as the day my husband turned from his evil ways and came clean. But all those other days- like wedding anniversaries where you know your spouse was texting her right in front of you (Angelwings – that must have been just sickening to realize) – well, those days are still difficult. It seems impossible to turn them around. So how then do we deal with the memories and the pain?
The day that my husband and I started going out is coming up on May 7. We used to do it up as big as our wedding anniversary. Now I don’t want to celebrate either day. On May 7, 2008 he wrote her an email telling her that it was so difficult to celebrate the worst mistake of his life. That definitely came across to me that night, too. It brings tears just to think of it. And that was just a minor item in the list of things he did during his affair.
I have written before about my method thus far for dealing with it- I do something physically taxing and difficult, like mountain hiking, swimming, Zumba classes, Tai Chi. I do anything that keeps my mind focused on physical movement so that I don’t think about anything. And I keep it up for as long as possible. I did all four sports on Valentine’s Day. If it seems like just a bandaid fix, it is. But sometimes bandaids are necessary to keep from getting a fatal infection. And bandaids do aid in healing, too.
So what else is there to cover up the pain for a day? I’m thinking up some more. I need them for May 7. Nmwf1 needs it for May 2. We all could use some ideas. Please let us know if you have any that work for you or that you think might work.