I read somewhere that the pain of an emotional trauma eventually goes away except for minor twinges now and again when a trigger comes up. It will come to feel like something out of a story that you see in the third person, as though you are looking at it from the outside. You remember it and you know what it felt like, but you no longer feel it.
Although I have come a long way, this perspective still seems like a long ways off. My husband is getting ready for another business trip. I am not reacting with just a twinge. That ever-present shadow has grabbed my insides and twisted pretty darned tight. Nope, I’m definitely not seeing it from the third person perspective. I am still living it in the first person – it is very much a real and present part of my being at this point.
But I am better. I am not crying my eyes out or falling apart. I just don’t think I’ll be eating much dinner tonight.