I have told no one about my husband’s affair, except for my children and my doctor.  My doctor has been wonderful in watching over me and making sure I understand my options.  I have refused antidepressants or any kind of medication besides a higher dose of my blood pressure meds.  I have taken care of myself and for a while I felt I was in better shape than I have ever been.  But I have been slowly losing the fight.  A number of symptoms have been getting worse and worse.  So I went in to see my doctor.

She said that, in my case, the shock was severe and I suffered a condition similar to PTSD, or post traumatic stress disorder.  This kind of emotional trauma can bring on fibromyalgia, which is what she thinks I have now developed.  She has referred me to a rheumatologist for further testing.

So all the stress and pain and heartache has now possibly caused me to develop a physical disorder.  Just great.  I am researching online to see how to fight this thing.  I’m not going to spend the rest of my life in pain if I can help it.

If you have pain all over your body, if you are depressed, if you suffer irritable bowel syndrome, headaches and sleeping problems, you may want to check out a description of fibromyalgia.  Here’s a link to a good short description:

I’ll let you know if the specialist thinks I really have it or not.  And I’ll let you know what I find out about remedies.

I refuse to be beaten by this after already making it through the worst of this nightmare.


21 thoughts on “Fibromyalgia?

  1. Stress is a killer. It has affected my physical health too. Even in this DJ…you are not alone.
    Peace to you.

    • Not Over It says:

      Thank you, LFBA. As always, I am glad that you are here in our blogging community with me.

      I am aware that I am not the only one suffering – that is the reason for this post. That’s why I shared the link. If I am suffering this, there must be many who do. This post is all about sharing so that we don’t feel all alone and we can help each other through.

      I’m sorry to hear you also suffer physically because of it. I try not to dwell on the fact that it is all so unfair, but sometimes it just is.


  2. Aimer Shama says:

    Sorry about everything. Perhaps this can get you laughing a bit.
    Have you seen it before?

  3. Morgan says:

    The stress is awful. Things that never bothered me before the affair cause me pain now–the migraines are the worst. I often wonder if my husband and I are the only ones who suffer things since my affair partner and his wife were SO out of touch with reality?? I keep putting off seeing my doctor even though I feel pain—I just feel like it’s yet another reminder of all that happened and I try to fight that away.

    • Not Over It says:

      Hey Morgan – I’ve been missing you. You, too, huh? Yeah, the migraines are pretty miserable. Have you found anything that helps?

      Heh – I wonder, too, about your AP and his wife. They are a couple of strange birds. It wouldn’t surprise me if they didn’t suffer any lingering effects. That would mean that they are shallow and self-centered. Fits the bill to a T!

      Take care, my friend. There are new prescription meds for migraines that are much better than over-the-counter pills. I am not willing to try antidepressants but I am going to try some migraine meds.


      • Morgan says:

        I already have prescription meds for my migraines (Maxalt). I never, ever had one before…but 6 months after the affair I had a headache that lasted for 3 days. My husband took the day off and took me to the doctor because I was in so much pain. I got injected with pain killers immediately and swallowed a pain pill and migraine pill before I left the office. I’ve had several of them since then. Absolute misery.

        I don’t wish ill will on anyone…but there are times when I pray they suffer what my husband and I do. I guess that’s one of the things that keeps me moving on–knowing that I’ve changed and I’ve grown and my affair partner and his wife are pretty incapable of that so, when my brain starts wandering thinking his life is grand—I set things straight knowing that not a single soul comes out of an affair smelling like roses and living life as if it never happened!!!

        I went on anti-depressants years ago for a few months…totally NOT worth it. They numbed me to where I couldn’t function and I hated not truly FEELING things. It’s not like I wanted to feel such horrific pain after the ending of the affair, but I wanted to think clearly and process everything. Counseling was like a drug for me…it helped more than anything!!

        Hoping you feel better soon!!

      • Not Over It says:

        Wow, Morgan, your migraines are awful. Mine are not that bad, but it may be partly because one of the blood pressure meds I take also act as a preventive for migraines. So much for preventing these migraines…

        I know what you mean about that guy and his wife. They need to experience some consequences for their actions. That’s not ill will – just consequences. And you’re right – they will. I know it can sound hollow to hear that God will deal with it. I feel that way sometimes.

        Thank you for the info on meds. I will write it all down to take to the rheumatologist with me.

        I am better already after hearing from my friends. I will be ok. You take care, too.


  4. Agree with Morgan counselling over anti depressants any day the side affects are just silly and it doesn’t help you to deal with issues and move on it just turns you off. If you can get a good counsellor or group I reckon you would begin to feel the benefits. gd luck

  5. Not Over It says:

    Hi UFP – thank you for your input. I have an excellent online marriage coach who is the best thing since ice cream! We write to each other almost daily. His notes are like the rungs of a ladder, giving me sure footing for the journey out of that hellhole.

    My coach used to tell me all the time that I needed to find a support group. I think I have found it here in my blogging community. It is wonderful to share here with everyone. We understand each other like no one else can.

    Hope all is well with you –

  6. AngelWings says:

    Amazing what our bodies have been through since Dday~don’t you think? Unfortunately I went on anti-depressents about the 4th month mark. I was under so much stress at work and the EA was always in the back of my mind. I can say that for me the anti-depressents have helped get my emotions under control. I really thought I was losing it for a while there. They have helped me get things back in perspective. I attribute much of my success in moving forward to them. I pray you find peace. Thanks for listening!

  7. Not Over It says:

    Hi AngelWings – it’s good to hear another perspective. My brother was on them for a while, too, and felt they helped him a lot. He has never confided in me, but I suspect that his wife had an affair and that’s why he needed them. He was on them for quite some time and when he tried to wean off he had difficulties.

    I’m glad you’ve had success and that you are here sharing from your experience!


  8. Oh DJ, I’m praying that you don’t have Fibromyalgia. Our bodies have been through hell and back from all this affair business but developing something like an actual physical disorder would definitely, for lack of a better word, Suck! I hope it’s just stress as I know you’ve been feeling really low recently. Lately I’ve been wearing that heavy blanket myself as the anniversary of D-day will be next Friday. Nowadays, it’s really hard for me to fall asleep at night. My mind keeps replaying what had happened and what I wished I would have done instead, my regrets and so on.

    I would love to give you a real physical hug. I know you’ll get stronger again and fight through this, as you’ve been doing over and over again. In the meantime, take really good care of yourself! *HUGS*

    • Not Over It says:

      Thank you, Fighter – I would love a real hug from you, too. I appreciate the encouragement. I needed that today.

      Next Friday – I will keep you in prayer. I know you have some regrets, but you have come so far and have done so much that I admire. None of us were prepared with an emergency manual for this situation, and you have done a remarkable job thus far.

      Are you able to take time for yourself once in a while? In the past few days I have gone lap swimming – slow, meditative swimming as prescribed by my coach. It helped a lot.

      Take care, dear one, and keep me posted.


    • nmwf1 says:

      hi F & S and DJ I hope you don’t mind if i butt in because that is so familiar that your mind keeps replaying what happened over and over . I cant help but stress about the same thing even tho my D-Day anniversary is a ways off. I think about the regrets every day ( Is there a forum for that topic cause I often want to went as I am in constant turmoil about what I WISH I WOULD HAVE DONE INSTEAD. i am tortured by regrets. it makes me crazy and angry and jealous and frustrated. It gives me a pit in my stomach. thx nm

  9. nmwf1 says:

    i want to tell you what happened to me an what i discovered by accident that might just help you.( This may be a little graphic) so I want to apologize in advance, as a child I had (attention deficit) but i was never diagnosed until I became an adult. My Dr. prescribed (Ritalin) which worked for a long time. Then about 14 years ago i was in a horrific horse riding accident that left me with an annoying range of motion problem in my right arm and hand. other than that, physically I healed completely. However do to the: (For lack of a better word gruesome) image that was instilled in my minds eye, of my beloved horse Sunny’s fatal injuries lying face to face next to me. (once again i apologize) but I developed PTSD. all though they didn’t call it that. Never the less between my horse wreck and I lost my job because of it. I was under prolonged severe stress and developed severe fibromyalgia and fatigue syndrome. I did come to terms with the accident as time went on. And for the most part i can block it out. But to get to may point flash – forward to about 4 years ago I talked to my Dr. again because the Ritalin did not seem to be affective anymore for my attention deficit so he took me off it and prescribed (Adderal) oh my gosh. NITE AND DAY. Not only did the Adderal help with the attention deficit but I no longer feel fatigued when taking regularly, and 60 min after I take my regular dose in the morning it completely takes away my fibromyalgia pain. Literally it takes away the pain, Drawback Adderal is a controlled substance (it is prescribed primarily for attention deficit and narcolepsy) and a Dr. cannot call it in to your pharmacy. You have to see the Dr. on a regular basis. and physically take a written prescription to the pharmacy and pick- up with identification and you have to sign for it. Adderal has truly been a miracle drug for me. it won’t cure it but it can certainly help your symptoms of fibromyalgia, and fatigue syndrome , if you are diagnosed with fibro, it won’t hurt to ask your Dr. see what he thinks. I wish it worked as well for PTSD since i am thrown back into the clutches of it due to my husbands emotional affair. Sadly enough, their are a hell of a lot more triggers associated with the affair than with the accident. I CANT WIN. I MEAN I JUST CAN’T WIN! nm ps. I hope you check into it, you won’t be sorry!

  10. Not Over It says:

    Hi NMFW1 – Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. Goodness, you have been through so much. I’m glad you’ve found something that gives you relief. Does it last all day?

    If I am diagnosed by the rheumatologist with fibro, I will ask about Adderal.

    Sending love & prayers your way –

  11. I’m so sorry you’re continuing to go through such a difficult time. You are such a caring and thoughtful person who only deserves happiness and the best out of life. Even if you don’t have fibromyalgia, I hope you continue exploring ways to reduce your stress and take care of yourself. You’re always in my thoughts.

    • Not Over It says:

      Hi DE – Thank you – that’s the sweetest thing I’ve heard all day and I appreciate it. You’re always in my thoughts, too. Your wife will be who loses out if she doesn’t come to her senses.

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