Pinning the blame

Hey everybody,

Morgan, a CS who has recommitted to her marriage, posted on 1/6/2012 that it is common for betrayed spouses to place heavy blame on the OW.

Cheating spouses also tend to shift the blame, either to the affair partner or to the spouse.  Pass the buck.  The responsibility for this one is difficult to bear.

To me, the bottom line is what my therapist said:  there is no possible justification for an affair.  None.  Period.  Problems in your marriage do not make it ok to go and have an affair.  Unmet needs do not justify the breaking of one’s vows.  You deal with these things up front and in the open, not with betrayal and deceit.  One of the best articles I’ve seen addressing this topic came out yesterday in Emotional Affair Journey.  Hope you have time to take a look at it.  Doug is candid and humble in his assessment, which reflects more than two years of study on his part to rebuild his marriage and also to realign his actions to his beliefs.

It is my hope that my husband would learn a few things from Doug.  It would go a great long way in helping both of us to move forward.  Here is the link:

Hope everyone finds some enjoyment this weekend…



2 thoughts on “Pinning the blame

  1. Kris says:

    I hadn’t been to EA in a while. That was a good post. Doug is definitely a person doing the ME work.

  2. Not Over It says:

    Hey Kris! Nice to hear from you. Yes, Doug is one of my heroes.

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