So this is the roller coaster

Yesterday I got as close to happy as I’ve gotten since D-day.  I spent time with my daughter – nothing special, we just hung out, which is something we do frequently, but I was able to enjoy it – laugh and enjoy seeing the beautiful young woman my daughter has become.  My heart was warmed.

Later, when I went to bed with my husband, I was struck by the sadness again.  It had been there all day, in the background.  But it overwhelmed me again at night, and I cried myself to sleep.  I thought, How can this be my life?  How could he do this to me?  How could he touch me and then go to her? 

Up and down, over and over, happy then sad, angry then forgiving, ready to take a step forward, then taking three steps back.  Looping back around again and again.  This roller coaster is not fun.  I want to get off.

Advertisements

One thought on “So this is the roller coaster

  1. Michael says:

    Although I don’t cry myself to sleep anymore. I’ve been on this never ending roller coaster for a year and a half. I still have bad days.
    Do I think its still going on, no. But I still think she’s lieing to me.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s