It helps to tell the story

My husband threw a huge fit when he found out I was blogging about his affair.  He feels it should be a secret between him and me.  But he doesn’t want to talk about it, and I need to talk about it.  So for the past month, I’ve been writing back and forth to an online therapist and commenting on other people’s blogs.  It has helped tremendously – especially my “conversations” with my therapist.  And now I’ve decided to continue  my own blog in hopes of recovering even faster. 

It has now been five months since D-day, and I still think about the affair most of the time.  But the pain is not as intense unless a trigger brings on a flashback.  That can send me back to Day 1 for a while, but I can come out of it faster than before.  I’ve gotten my appetite back.  That’s a big improvement.  I might have disappeared off the face of the earth if that didn’t change.

Some people say they did workouts from the very beginning to ease the pain.  I could not get up the gumption to start.  But now I am walking and going to exercise class and I think I’m going to try some of those exercise videos.  I don’t think and I don’t feel the pain when I’m exercising.

Then of course, there’s the power of prayer and praise.  I was so angry at God for allowing this to happen to me that I didn’t pray for a long time.  But now I see God’s “footprints in the sand.”  He has carried me on His shoulders when I couldn’t walk myself.  I play praise music and sing with all my heart and soul.  It soothes my broken heart.


5 thoughts on “It helps to tell the story

  1. It’s good to see you’re back… I would do anything to help me heal, and if blogging will do it then so be it. Hopefully things are getting better with you and your husband… I’m sending you lot’s of luck and strength…

    • Not Over It says:

      Thank you! It’s good to be back. I also just returned from a two-week trip with my husband to visit his family – his mom is not well. He was grateful that I kept my promise not to tell them. It was hard at times, but I made it through the ordeal without blurting out anything about his affair.

  2. Kris says:

    I would love to know who your online therapist is. I could use something like that esp if it’s not very expensive.

  3. backonmyown says:

    When my ex found out I was blogging about him he was very upset. He wrote me a really mean email ordering me to remove it. Of course I totally ignored him. I didn’t even respond. Two of my daughters informed him that the writing had been great therapy for me. As you can see, I’m still writing. The nerve of him, thinking he could tell me what to do after his indiscretions.

    • Not Over It says:

      Haha. Really, did he think he could still order you around? My husband tried that, too, and I have been sensitive to that in not using our real names or mentioning place names, but that’s as far as I’ll go.

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