Infidelity.  Affair.  Betrayal.  Deceit.  None of those words seem to adequately describe the situation when you find out your spouse has been unfaithful.  The devastation, grief, and utter despair are indescribable.  The pain is beyond anything I ever imagined in my entire life.  Some people say you can completely recover from it.  At this writing, it has been over five years since I discovered my husband’s affair, and while the pain has diminished and I don’t think about it all time, it’s still there.  It’ll pop into focus at odd times and in inopportune situations when something triggers a memory.  But I am moving on and away from focusing on the injustice of my past.  I am leaving this blog online in the hopes that it can help someone who needs someone who understands.

I wrote this blog as I experienced it, so if you would like a chronological story, I suggest you read it backwards and start from my first post back in February 2011.  I stopped writing on this blog when I felt that the worst of the trauma was over.  I am not over it, but now I am going to change my focus to living a joyous life and not continually focusing on the pain anymore.

If you are in the trauma phase of discovering an unfaithful partner, let me say that I am so sorry.  I do not wish this experience on anyone.  It nearly did me in.  But know that you are not alone, and if you leave a comment here, I will see it and respond to you.

My best to anyone who comes across this… may God guide you in your personal journey.







8 thoughts on “About

  1. Not Over It says:

    We all have different issues that pull us backward. You have had many. I have a whole new set of issues pulling me back now. I am going to give one last ditch effort this week, and if it doesn’t get better, I’m throwing in the towel. I’ll let you know how it goes.

    Thanks, Robin, for your prayers!

  2. For some reason I was not following you.. back on it.. I love the title Not Over It.. ❤

    • DJ says:

      Hey NH – I have written any posts in a long, long time, but I do check for messages once or twice a week. Nice to see you here! I keep up with you in my reader. Fight on, my friend!

  3. brokenjoan says:

    Hey DJ, this is Joan, I think of you often & I hope you are doing well. I will always remember your kindness to me during the lowest points of my life. Just remember you will always have a friend thinking of you in Indy! Love & Hugs, Joan

    • DJ says:

      Joan! So glad to hear from you! I think of you often and pray that you continue to move forward to a place in life where you are happy.

      I am doing well in general. I enjoy my life and my place in it. I’ve just been falling into that trap of old thoughts and hurts lately. It’s probably because Daniel has just taken a new job that will require frequent travel to the area where the witch lives. I have been very far removed from thoughts of her for a long time, but now I find unwelcome thoughts popping up every day. I know I will get past it but have felt the need to connect with people who understand. The only people I’ve ever shared with are my blogging friends so I have been reading up on friends here. I’m glad you wrote.

      So how are you?

      Love & prayers,

  4. brokenjoan says:

    We are still together & I’m in a better place than I was almost 4 years ago, 4 years & sometimes the thought of it still takes my breath away! I don’t comment as much as I use to & most everyone that I first met all those years ago have stopped blogging. I just can’t seem to break away from other people who are going through this. Would it help if I didn’t read these blogs, I don’t know, my husband thinks it would! I think it will always be with all of us, we just learn to live with it the best way we can! Anyway it’s so good to hear from you, take care. Love & hugs Joan

  5. Diane Rapaport says:

    As long as your internal dialogue is focused on pain and trauma, the lss room you have to develop adventure and independence. Feelings of anger, loneliness, fear and betrayal can eventually turn toxic. A good read for you might be C. J. Grace’s book: Adulterer’s Wife: How to Thrive Whether you Stay or Not.“ Available on Amazon in print and Kindle. This is not a book about taking revenge, but how to use the shock and anger to take back power and gain
    peace of mind,” writes author C.J. Grace. “The sweetest revenge is to get past the need for it.”

    • DJ says:

      I’m sorry I didn’t see this until today – I was away on a journey that did not include Internet access. I think I mentioned more than once in this post that I was moving away from focusing on the pain and trauma. I had a setback a couple of months ago, but I have taken another step away from it. Everyone deals with it in their own time, even with all the knowledge and help available from others, but it indeed can happen.

      Thank you for taking the time to write. I would still like to read that book and will look for it.

      Love & prayers,

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